ok, so its a little after New Year's, but im writing this anyway. it will help me organize my thoughts and feelings about the past year. 2008. So, the middle and end of ninth grade was ok i suppose; it was relatively uneventful, but then, so is my life. it seems like forever ago really, back when we used to have JACC (Japanese Art and Culture Club) meetings, and i must say i miss them. Sometimes they were hectic and other times slow, but somehow everyone (you know who you are) made me feel better. I was fairly depressed then, but making somewhat of an effort to get over it. Several friends of mine graduated, and i miss seeing you all! Another friend i miss is Tsai-Yi, Cindy. she was a foreign exchange student from Taiwan, and though we speak on the internet, i havent seen her since last spring. Lets see...other things happened that spring as well, and not all of them were good. i went through a tragic period of drug and alcohol use which i already regret, and i have stopped now. the summer was very slow for me, it was spent recovering and mourning. towards fall, school began again...ugh. I am not a fan of school at ALL. at least i didnt have horrible classes first semester, and the worst is over considering that now, for second semester i have gotten out of biology and into drama. so big yay there. sometime after thanksgiving i finally came out to three of my closest friends that im bi, and i am pretty open about it now, so long as my parents never find out!! they are complete homophobes and yeah..wouldnt be good. christmas was a tragedy, and i spent the holiday sulking and mad. on the morning of christmas eve, my real dad died, and not one person in my family told my mom or me. my mom called the hospital so we could wish him merry christmas and the nurse said he had passed that morning. not even my brothers called and said anything to me. i was so pissed you have no idea!! ..oh, for those of you who dont know: my mom and my dad werent married and i was sort of born an accident (his ninth child, her fourth counting the one who died at birth) and when they separated, my mom married my stepdad. it is with them that i have lived since i was six, visiting my real dad very rarely. i didnt even get to see him in the hospital before he,..yeah. as for new years, well...i did nothing lol, as usual. but basically, throughout 2008, i gained and lost friends, also gained a rather oddly interesting rep..not sure how, managed to remain single for another year (no suprise, i think i must scare people off by sinmply existing...lucky people lol)and changed a lot. i always change tho, so thats not a suprise. im not as depressed as i was, though i am far from happy. i am continually restless as i long for something and someplace new; new people, new sights etc. its just so...BORING here. oh well, whatever not much i can do about it.

btw, i left out the CPS thing on purpose, for all of you who heard about it or were involved..

i need to upload stuff, but im afraid i still lack the necessary equip for that...sigh

well..if i remember anything else i'll tack onto the bottom of this